I really thought I'd made progress this year - I have made progress. I just need to create some semblance of a tangible, visceral adulthood. I completed my first day of university and after the brief europhoria had abeited, I couldn't help but feel overcome by the same anxieties that made me drop out of sixth form. Needless to say, the 'what if?' questions surfaced and manic reading of any anxiety related symptoms. It's all irrational and hormone induced, but it's too easy to slip back into old avoidance habits. Structure and strength are the necessities to which are very much lacking in my humble life. Time calls for a physical and mental altercation. No hyperventilating.
But for now I retain sanity with Sade.
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